By Rosie Todd
Rosie Todd, self acclaimed OAP, is thrown into the deep end of deep house to see what all the fuss is about.
I’ll set the scene – I am a firm believer in older music, my mates call me Grandad, and the majority of my iPod was created before I was even a fumble in the dark. My idea of a rubbish night out would be as such: going to anything that is under the umbrella of what I refer to as ‘techno-shit’. But University is about trying something new and reinventing yourself into something much cooler (riiiight?), and I hear ‘techno-shit’ is what I should be listening to, so I thought I’d try to find out why all the kids these days like it so much.
My night started with a bus-trek to Elephant and Castle, and not having an internet phone, my night then went on to be an hour’s tour of Elephant and Castle…. Eventually I asked the right kind of people for the right kind of directions and I had found the right kind of alleyway. After being allowed in (it’s free by the way guys) I was greeted with what I can only describe as a glorified box with a bar - a few tequilas later however the box seemed much more inviting and I entered into the fray. My first impressions were that the average pupil dilation was way above normal (and it wasn’t that dark), that I felt distinctly unhipster and that the music ‘okay’.
Everyone looked as if repetitive strain injuries were on the cards, what with the amount of recurring head-bopping going on. But after chatting to a few people, I started to not hate it as much as I thought I would. I asked my dancing neighbours what is was about house they liked so much and I received answers such as ‘such a good vibe’, ‘you can lose all inhibitions because everyone is a cunt’ and ‘who the fuck even are you, you just sat next to me and started talking about house?’.
The adjective used most to describe house was ‘chilled’. I then wondered why the fuck you would want to spend a night out listening to music that shares characteristics with whale and lift music, and dare I say it, smooth jazz. I was swiftly responded with ‘it realises musical endorphins’…… which was quite funny, but fair. When prompted about the repetitiveness, it was said it is ‘evolving’ and ‘I like it repetitive because I know what’s coming’. Well, each to their own, I know buses are coming but that doesn’t make it any more exciting. The highlight of my night was watching two guys and a girl being marched out of a toilet and the question on everyone’s faces being: ‘threesome or hard drugs????’. I didn’t stick around to find out. I had a nice night, but the music was just wallpaper and it didn’t really make me want to dance, or if it did I lost interest 30 seconds later which made me think I needed more drink.
I could be converted but house my friend; you’ve not made it into my home just yet.
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